Save Now, Party Later: How to Be a BAD GRANNY
Ladies, listen!! You don’t have to wanna be a Bad Granny!* No way!!! You can be a Tenderhearted Granny, a Crotchety Granny, an Introverted Granny, whatever type of Granny! Hell, you don’t even have to be a Granny. All I care about is Old Lady You, and your ability to make the last years of her precious life full and rich and complete.
*I went with a naughty Golden Girls theme because a) I wanted to get your attention—did it work? and also b) let’s be honest I made this in one day and with a limited budget (a.k.a. couldn’t adopt 38 cats).
Please, take a minute to envision your most excellent future Old Lady Self. Seriously, do it. Whether that means quietly tending to your garden of felines or destroying the mosh pit at a Metallica concert, there’s no wrong vision here. You do (future) you!
In your old age, will you want to travel? Imagine taking your entire family on a Euro trip, your grandkids burying their faces in croissants and practicing bad French. Or will you want to submerge yourself in all the books you never got to read while you were working and raising a family? Will you feel vibrant at 80, out-lapping whippersnappers at the community pool and/or destroying Nazis? Will you be the deliciously styled old lady that no longer dresses for any damn person but herself?
MORE IMPORTANTLY, will you want to take care of your aging body without having to stress about whether you can afford your meds and keep a roof over your head (and the heat cranked to 85 degrees on a cold day)? Will you be free from worry about what will happen if you contract Alzheimer’s or dementia, or lose your vision or hearing?
It’s fucking hard to tell people to save more for retirement. Some of you are truly scraping to get by, today, and can’t feasibly save money for 50 years from now. If that’s you—it’s okay!!—focus your energy on self-improvement, education, and earning more. And don’t you dare beat yourself up over it, ain’t NO use in that mmmkay!!?
But many of us are avoiding making a change towards financial responsibility, for reasons that are both totally valid and…still excuses. While money decisions can feel crippling (should I do this…or this…or this!??), there’s hardly a person out there that shouldn’t be saving more for retirement. Make it a goal for this month to increase how much money you contribute to your 401(k) at work (DO IT NOW!) or open up a Roth IRA or other retirement account. If you do the latter, start a small automatic monthly transfer of money. Even if it’s only $10 or $50, it will add up and it will make a difference.
If you can start with $1,000, open an account at Vanguard.
If you are starting with less than $1,000, open an account at Fidelity.
These aren’t the only brokerage banks you can use, but they’re low-cost favorites and that’s what you need right now.
Keep tuning in for more information on planning for #retirement; I’ll be focusing on long-term planning for the next three posts! (Want a summary and links to all posts in a month? Sign up for my gentle and infrequent newsletter.)
That’s it! Start there. Now, go on with your bad self 🙂
UPDATE: Check out the next in the Bad Granny series:
Ginormous thanks to Stewart Tomassian of Factual Photography who made this silly little film happen. Stew is truly a master; hit him up for your photographic and videographic needs!!
And another special thanks to my inimitable girlfriends that helped me make this video. You know who you are, and making this really reinforced who I want to be a crazy Old Lady with. #badgrannies