I admit, this post a little outta character. I don’t usually write about what the kiddos call “popular culture,” but Tiffany Haddish’s SNL monologue on Saturday stirred me up like a pot of hot gravy and I wanna smother myself in it. At one point, I was alone, high-knees marching around the room, pumping a fist in the air and mouthing “Yes!! YES!!!!” to exactly nobody.
For many reasons, I encourage you watch it for yourself. If bazillions of people watch her opening monologue, maybe SNL will realize just how blindingly offensive it is that Haddish is the first-ever black female comedian to host the show in 42 years. They celebrated the monument, but they should be ashamed. No Whoopi? No Wanda Sykes? Puh-lease. Bonus disturbing fact: Lucy Liu is the only woman of Asian descent to ever host SNL. Ever. Haddish’s inspiring upbringing story and commentary on the recent sexual assault scandals are also delicious, but not at the locus of my post today. Today, I showed up to talk about her joke about her $4,000 dress.
Apparently, Kevin Hart made fun of her for wearing the same outfit in all her Instagrams. (GTFO, Kevin Hart.)
“That’s what I can’t about stand the internet, because it’s messing with my fashion game!”
Have truer words ever been said? I have like 2.5 good outfits and Instagram is seriously outing me.
“I should be able to wear what I want, when I want, however many times I want, as long as I Febreeze it.”
[vigorously nods head yes] If you can’t smell me from where you’re sitting, MIND UR OWN BEESWAX.
“Like this dress. I wore it on the red carpet for Girls Trip. And my whole team they told me, Tiffany, you CANNOT wear that dress on SNL. You already wore it, it’s taboo to wear it twice. And I said I DON’T GIVE A DANG ABOUT NO TABOO, I spent a lotta money on this dress. This dress cost way more than my mortgage. This an Alexander McQueen, okay?!! It’s a $4,000 dress, I’m gonna wear this dress MULTIPLE TIMES!!”
She continues on, promising that if she’s invited to a Bar Mitzvah, an all-black party, and even your wedding, you better believe she gonna be wearing that dress. Can I get an A-F*CKING-MEN? Refusing to wear the thing twice because of the photographic evidence is insane, and it makes financial sense for NO ONE. And, IT IS EXHAUSTING. It is mentally and financially EXHAUSTING.
(BTW, Haddish came out later in the show, as promised, wearing the dress again.)
All hail the Queen. Oh and here she is at the Girls Trip premiere:
Humans already tend towards wanting new and shiny things, but the feeling is exasperated by social pressure. For one example, pretty much every woman I know wears a new dress to every single wedding she attends, whether bought or rented. And at peak wedding ages of 26-29, that can mean five to ten weddings (and dresses, accessories, spray-tans, blow-outs, etc.) per year! I’ve certainly been there. I’ve bought a lot of dresses in my day, but I’m currently feeling very fatigued by the expectation.
For money reasons, I recently wore a dress to its fourth wedding. While I mostly don’t care that this is considered a fashion faux pas (nor do I care about any fashion faux pas, really), part of me still felt embarrassed.
But why?? It looks frickin’ good on me! It’s a showstopper! I get MAD compliments! Shouldn’t my reaction be “dang, I should be wearing this motherf*cking thing to the coffee shop” and not “crap, I’m embarrassed to be seen in this dress again?”
U KNOW WHAT!!? Maybe I WILL wear it to the COFFEE SHOP!!!
I wore that beautiful-ass dress to the local Peet’s, and guess what happened? I GOT MORE COMPLIMENTS!! Two adorable ol’ regulars CLEARLY don’t follow my Insta or they would have reacted with proper disgust. This dress has now been worn in public a despicable 5x!
Ladies, we can please all gather together and agree that it’s OKAY to repeat outfits over and over and over again? Can we move away from this tired trend of expecting our friends to be wearing something new every time we see them, in person or online? Within both ourselves and others, can we attempt to value scrappiness, resourcefulness and humor at least as much as we do materialism, consumerism, and appearance?
I joke, but the phenomenon is real: Women are spending more and more money specifically for or because of Instagram and social media. Most women I know are posting on social media at least once per week. That’s a helluva lot of shopping.
This weekend, I encourage you to go dig through your closet, find the most fabulous outfit you already own and wear the shit out of that thing. And then do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Repeat outfits with pride, post on Instagram, and if you’re feeling inspired, tag me in it! @dumpster.doggy #WhatWouldTiffanyDo
Let Haddish serve as a reminder that it’s the things we do and say and the way we make our friends feel that matters in the end. Who cares if she wears the same dress? She makes us feel better, she is breaking down barriers, and is a shining light in this world.
Also, PLEASE treat yourself to this extra video. She used a Groupon to take Will Smith on a swamp tour. It is glorious: